The Reasons Behind Bad Virtual Assistant Experiences
Bad virtual assistant experiences always seem to travel faster than the good ones, but most of the time the problem starts long before any work begins. When clients and VAs jump in without clarity or preparation, even the best intentions fall apart. Here’s what’s really going on behind those stories.
Before we dive in, here’s a little heads-up. This post was written quite a while ago, back when the VA world was still finding its footing and so was I. I’ve updated it to reflect what the industry looks like now, and what I’ve learned after all these years of watching these relationships succeed and crash spectacularly. The core message still holds. It just has more mileage and perspective behind it now.
When Bad Stories Travel Faster Than Good Ones
I stumbled across an article years ago that claimed virtual assistants were getting a bad reputation at business events. People were trading stories about disappointing VA experiences like they were scary campfire tales. And as much as I wanted to roll my eyes, I had also heard those stories myself. The bad ones always travel faster and louder than the quiet, successful partnerships that just… work.
Around that same time I saw a newsletter insisting the average VA and client only lasted six months together. The reason? Supposedly, most virtual assistants didn’t know what their clients actually wanted.
Cute theory. Not quite reality.
The Industry Grew Fast—But Not Always Well
When the VA industry first exploded, it was painted as an easy work-from-home option. All you needed was a laptop and the willingness to answer emails. Suddenly, everyone was calling themselves a VA, experience optional.
That led to clients discovering, sometimes painfully, that the title “VA” doesn’t automatically mean prepared, trained, or equipped.
But even that isn’t the whole story.
The Client Side Has Its Own Problems
Even the most talented VA cannot save a client who isn’t prepared to work with one. And plenty of clients jump in without a clear idea of what they need or how they work. These same folks would never hire a lawyer, accountant, or contractor without research. But hiring a VA?
Blind trust and a prayer.
Hiring a VA is not plug and play. It never has been. It requires communication, clarity, and a little self-awareness.
Misaligned Expectations = Short-Lived Partnerships
Your VA can be brilliant. You can be motivated.
None of that matters if your work styles, communication preferences, or expectations are marching in opposite directions.
If you want daily updates and your VA prefers weekly summaries? Crack.
If you want someone to take the reins and make decisions while your VA expects approval at every step? Crack.
It’s never the dramatic stuff. It’s always the quiet mismatch.
When It Works, It Really Works
I’ve taught clients how to work with VAs and taught VAs how to build sustainable businesses. Every pattern points to the same truth: preparation matters. Clarity matters. Knowing what you need matters. And knowing how you work matters even more.
When both sides get aligned before the contract starts, the partnership can transform a business. I’ve seen VA relationships last for years and become the backbone of someone’s sanity. Heck, I have several clients who have been working with me since the beginning of my business journey. That’s 17+ years.
What Comes Next
This refreshed post is the start of a mini-series that brings those original lessons into today’s world, where remote work is normal, AI tools are everywhere, and expectations shift fast.
I’ll be sharing what clients should do before hiring a VA, and what VAs can do to attract the right clients and avoid the wrong ones.
Because great VA relationships don’t happen by accident. They happen because both sides know what they’re stepping into and show up ready.
Thinking of Becoming a VA Yourself?
If this stirred something in you and you’re considering building (or rebuilding) your VA career, my Udemy course Work From Home as a Virtual Assistant goes deeper into the realities of the industry and how to set yourself up for real success.
Take a look here.
Next post: Understanding the Unique Needs of Your Business and Yourself
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I am always surprised when people are blindly encouraged to be VAs by others. I do not feel that it is an easy field to break in to. I have received many phone calls from potential VAs and I counsel them to plan on taking 12 to 18 months to establish a good client base and procedures.
It is not just a matter of producing a business plan. You need to take the time to find out what you want to offer, how you want to bill, etc. You will need to manage your time. When will you be on call? You have to train yourself to be a boss and not be an employee.
I believe that an excellent secretary/assistant doesn’t always make an excellent virtual assistant.
Lisa,
I totally agree with you. I groan inwardly every time I see someone refer to being a VA as ‘easy’ or ‘quick’. And you make a great point about taking the time to find out what you want to offer. I know some established VA’s disagree with me when I say you should do your best to determine a niche first. While I agree that it is possible to gain clients and run your business being a ‘generalist’ I think it makes it even harder to build a successful business if you go that route.
It’s a huge step from being an employee to being a business owner. Too many virtual assistants are trying to run a business while still stuck in that ’employee’ mentality. In the end, doing so not only hurts them but the entire industry as it ‘trains’ clients to view us more as employees than ‘business collaborators’.
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your thoughts!
~Tina
I am always surprised when people are blindly encouraged to be VAs by others. I do not feel that it is an easy field to break in to. I have received many phone calls from potential VAs and I counsel them to plan on taking 12 to 18 months to establish a good client base and procedures.
It is not just a matter of producing a business plan. You need to take the time to find out what you want to offer, how you want to bill, etc. You will need to manage your time. When will you be on call? You have to train yourself to be a boss and not be an employee.
I believe that an excellent secretary/assistant doesn’t always make an excellent virtual assistant.
Lisa,
I totally agree with you. I groan inwardly every time I see someone refer to being a VA as ‘easy’ or ‘quick’. And you make a great point about taking the time to find out what you want to offer. I know some established VA’s disagree with me when I say you should do your best to determine a niche first. While I agree that it is possible to gain clients and run your business being a ‘generalist’ I think it makes it even harder to build a successful business if you go that route.
It’s a huge step from being an employee to being a business owner. Too many virtual assistants are trying to run a business while still stuck in that ’employee’ mentality. In the end, doing so not only hurts them but the entire industry as it ‘trains’ clients to view us more as employees than ‘business collaborators’.
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving your thoughts!
~Tina
Just cant stop my self to comment on your blog. Good post. Actually freelance VAs those who are not serious are doing all this.
Just cant stop my self to comment on your blog. Good post. Actually freelance VAs those who are not serious are doing all this.
Based on my personal experiences it has usually been bad communication that has led to a bad relationship. It is not good assume that everything is clear – you need to really make it clear as to what it is you are after exactly in your project..Looking forward to reading your future posts…
Based on my personal experiences it has usually been bad communication that has led to a bad relationship. It is not good assume that everything is clear – you need to really make it clear as to what it is you are after exactly in your project..Looking forward to reading your future posts…
I have yet to have a bad experience with my cleints. I really listen to my “potential” client’s needs before we begin a working relationship. We must be on the same page! Understanding the ins and outs of their business takes time but developing a great working relationship is instant. I have decided not to work with two clients because we were just not a good match. Develop a list of non negotiable questions to ask them at the very beginning. If any of their answers are not in-line with yours, that is a red flag. They may be the client, but you are the boss!
[…] to their business. Add to that the number of virtual assistants that truly did hop on that bus without the needed experience and skills. Trust me, there are a lot of them. That brings the number of truly professional virtual […]