What If You’re the Reason Toxic Work Culture Still Exists?

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When my granddaughter told me about the teacher in her CNA course who constantly singled her out and embarrassed her in front of her classmates, I felt the heat of protective anger rise in my chest.

But what I thought first?

“Well, you’re going to have to learn to deal with people like that. We’ve all had horrible supervisors or instructors. You just have to push through.”

There it was.
That old, familiar script.
The one I was handed when I was just a teenager, dealing with a teacher who treated me unfairly.

“You’re going to deal with unfair bosses for the rest of your life. Learn to deal with it now.”

– My Mother

That’s what my mother told me.

And what she meant was: put up with it.

Endure it. Get used to being disrespected. That’s just life.

So there I was, decades later, about to hand my granddaughter the same tired line.

The Script We Think Is Strength

It was supposed to make me stronger.

Instead, it taught me that my discomfort didn’t matter. That unfair treatment was a rite of passage. That enduring harm was a badge of maturity.

And I almost passed that exact mindset down to the next generation. Not out of malice, but out of muscle memory.

But This Time, Someone Interrupted the Pattern

It was my daughter, her mother, who gave me the pause I didn’t know I needed.

She looked at me and said, “Isn’t this what we’ve been trying to change? We cheer for women online calling out toxic bosses, but we’re still telling our own daughters to accept it?”

That stopped me cold.

Because she was right.
I wasn’t breaking the cycle.
I was reinforcing it.

How We Keep Toxic Work Culture Alive (Without Meaning To)

Toxic work culture doesn’t just start with the boss who sends passive-aggressive emails.
It starts long before that, with the way we teach people what they should expect.

It’s in the way we equate “professionalism” with silence.
It’s in how we teach kids to endure mistreatment to prove they’re strong.
It’s in the little lectures that say, “this is just how the world works,” when really, it’s how we allow it to keep working.

We say we want change.
We share viral posts and talk about workplace trauma.
But if we don’t change how we respond to these moments in our own homes, nothing changes.

This Is How It Ends: With Us

Breaking toxic work culture starts before the workplace.

It starts with saying,
“You’re right. That was unfair.”
“It’s not okay to be spoken to like that.”
“You don’t have to accept disrespect just to get through school or keep a job.”

It starts when we stop glamorizing endurance and start modeling boundaries.

It starts when we catch ourselves saying, “You’ll just have to deal with it,” and realize there’s a better response.

I’m Not Beating Myself Up, But I’m Not Letting It Slide Either

I’m not writing this to shame myself.
I’m writing it because if I can slip into that script, anyone can.

We don’t break toxic systems with hashtags alone.
We break them by choosing differently when it matters.
Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Especially then.

That day, with my granddaughter, I caught it in time.
The chain didn’t pass through me.
It stopped.

And that’s how we break toxic work culture for real.

Now It’s Your Turn

What messages were you given about work, respect, or resilience when you were young?

Are there any beliefs you’ve unknowingly passed along that you’re ready to rewrite?

Work That Loves You Back? Is That Even Possible?

If you’ve ever caught yourself repeating old survival scripts or wondering what healthier, more aligned work could actually look like, you’re not alone.

Work That Loves You Back is a guided discovery journey to help you untangle your values, your voice, and what meaningful work looks like for you. It’s gentle, practical, and judgment-free.

👉 Grab the guide here.

Use it to break toxic work culture for yourself and be an example for others.